A Girl Named Alice

Nearly six years ago now, my life was changed forever.

In 2007, my sister and I began a journey to Nairobi, Kenya.

I think I sensed that my life would never be the same, but I had only an inkling of the kind of affect the three-week trip would have on me.

In Kenya, I met Alice.  Alice was an orphan, about two years old, living at Imani Children’s Home. With a group of people from my church, I spent multiple days at Imani Children’s Home building a play-fort for the children. But mostly, I spent those days falling in love with the innocent and carefree smiles and laughter.

I formed a particularly strong bond with one little orphan, Alice. She had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen and her eyes sparkled with life and joy, she was always laughing and playing. She was carefree, adventurous, and so unaware and naïve of what life was like outside of the gates of the Children’s Home.  But as we drove away that last day, I knew someday she would be faced with a harsh and cruel world, and I prayed in that moment that the Lord would be real in her life and would sustain her through whatever her life held.

At 16, I felt helpless as I stared out the window, knowing I might never see her again, wishing there was something I could do.

I am nearly 22 and often I have felt that same helplessness, wishing I could do something and feeling powerless to make a difference. For the last few years, I told myself that as soon as I got my RN, then I could finally do something, finally help, make a difference. But last summer, RN finally in hand, I told God enthusiastically that I was ready and asked Him to open a door. I was met with silence.

Discouraged, I felt lost and confused, for years I have felt the call “go”, the command “love”, the desire “heal”, and now, when I was finally done with school, no door opened and I felt frustrated. In December, God blessed me with a job at the hospital I had hoped to work at, and I felt peace.

However, as summer draws near I have begun to feel that same restlessness grow, the desire to go, the longing for Kenya, for my Africa, for my Alice.

A few weeks ago, I did not know what this summer will hold, whether I would go or stay, and during that time God spoke to me.

I was sitting in my car in the drive-through for McDonalds on Sunday morning before church and thinking of Kenya, wondering why God would give me a desire and not fulfill it. I felt frustrated and remember thinking “God, if I don’t go, how can I possibly be of use to those orphans?”

That’s when it hit me straight in the face.

I have been making excuses for years, that I couldn’t make a difference here for Kenya, I have been refusing to act because it seemed impossible.

I have always known God asks some to go, some to pray, some to invest, but I never realized He could call one person to all of those at different times in their lives, and despite myself, I always held “going” above the other two as more important.

It was in that moment, I saw the truth. Going was easy, and I could see the benefits of my labor. Giving and praying are harder in many ways. For the first time in my life, I realized that maybe I was not only called to go.

That was when it came to me, I knew I wanted to start something here, regardless of what this summer would hold, I wanted to begin something, to share this message, to make a difference for Alice, and all those like her. Not all are able to go, we have responsibilities, families, full time jobs, but perhaps we can still make a difference.

“A Girl Named Alice”, is in a way, their voice, the children’s voice, crying for love, crying for help. We can do something; we can be God’s hands and feet.

I am not sure yet what God has for me to do here in the USA, whether its simply raising awareness or whether I am to begin a specific ministry. However, this week I found out I will be going to Kenya this summer and I am elated. The Lord has answered my cry with a yes. I will be traveling with three other girls, and one will meet us there. So the other night while I was laying in bed, the idea came to me to start this blog.

I am hoping the other girls will post as well throughout this journey. 

I do not know what the Lord has in store for us, and the work He has for us to do, but I pray that He uses us, and that we take our experiences and change the world and enhance His kingdom. 

I am asking that any and all who read this, do not make the mistake I did in thinking that just because you cannot go you cannot make a difference, please, please pray for this trip, pray that our hearts and eyes would be attuned to God and His spirit and His will.

God bless you all!

(P.S. the attached photos are of Alice)